EBERTONIUM CANDELARIA or EBERTONIUM CANDIDUS is an analogue polyphonic instrument which emits sounds directly from light bulbs. It was conceived by Candelaria Saenz Valiente and fabricated by expert inventor Tomasz Ebert. Both Ebert and Candelaria designed the looks of the first model in early 2012.
E.C. is a low frequency sounding furniture with light bulbs that can be pitch bended by knobs that alter the intensity of the energy sent to each bulb. The attack is gentle as a Solina String Ensemble and it's potential power is health threatening as it includes four powerful subwoofers. If used delicately it has a crunchy, crepitant and soothing texture full of harmonics and delightful scratching noises (random frequency waves) which make this instrument a hypnotic pleasure to listen to.

Po polsku:

EBERTONIUM CANDELARIA (inaczej: EBERTONIUM CANDIDUS) jest analogowym instrumentem polifonicznym emitującym dźwięki przy pomocy żarówek. Wymyśliła go Candelaria Saenz Valiente, a zbudował genialny wynalazca, Tomasz Ebert. Obydwoje zaprojektowali prototyp na początku 2012 roku. EC to mebel o niskich częstotliwościach, wyposażony w żarówki o różnym brzmieniu. Wysokość dźwięków sterowana jest gałkami. Atak poszczególnych dźwięków jest delikatny jak w Solina String Ensemble, a ich potencjalna moc zagraża zdrowiu, ponieważ w instrument wbudowane są cztery potężne sub-woofery. Traktowany z delikatnością wydaje łągodny dźwięk o chrupiącej, trzeszczącej fakturze, pełnej harmonii i innych, przypadkowych i cudownych barw, które sprawiają, iż słuchanie tego instrumentu wywołuje przyjemnie hipnotyczne wrażenie.






I created the Zissou (as in Steve) in order to quench the very common desire to float. For those who are cowardly and afraid of heights, the Zissou V.F.B. has come to give safe excitement. It does not have a motor and it is the smallest non motorized balloon ever created: 3 metres in diameter. Zissou consists of 50 honeycomb cells made out of Kevlar 49, a light weight, ultra resistant fabric. Kevlar is an aramid, phenyleneterephtalamid. It's 5 times stronger than steel and is highly resistant to heat.
The honeycomb structure prevents the outer pressure of the air to collapse the backpack.The structure is made of carbon fiber tubes (C.F. being lightweight and highly resistant to pressure) which have holes in them that connect each honeycomb cell.

These holes are needed in order to extract the air molecules. The Zissou is built with air inside. Vacuum is then produced by extracting the air with a Turbo Molecular Pump (which costs as much as the brute income of the state of Kentucky, Illinois, if you have the charm to bargain down like that). Medium vacuum (perfect vacuum is hypothetical) is enough to lift a 69 kg. person.

Zissou moves forward with either a leash that someone pulls from or with poles. Zissou poles have Pneumatic Joints, adjustable leg length and retractable feet. They look as cool as it gets, very much like ostrich legs.

Lastly there's the Zissou Plummet, which prevents the device from ascending too high, perhaps even deadly high. Zissou Plummet is an all terrain roller ball. Its core is lead and its outer layer is rubber. It weighs 9 grs. Its diameter is 10 cm.

To order a Zissou V.F.B. contact me via email guaranteeing economic viability.



Magnet Court Game - building instructions:

1: Build court as it were an indoor iceskating ring.
2: Instead of installing ice on the floor, install magnetized metal (magn. +)(Thyssen).
3: Make surroundings out of wood.
4: Make at least 10 waist belts from which stem 6 - adjustable to length - spider legs made of lightweight graphite and at the end of each add a metal (magn. +) disc. These must be leveled with the feet. Imagine the structure of an open cage or a crinoline (XIX century dress frame), at the end of which are the disks. (See fig. 1)
5: Add a metal sole (magn. +) to at least 50 pairs of shoes.
6: Build a long stick but with a disk (magn. -) at its end, this will be called the Taggerstick.
7: Make at least 30 vests which have lightweight metalic (magn. +) patches on their back and front.
8: Get at least 10 pairs of extremely long skiing poles and add rubber foam to the ends.
9: Invite friends, 8 friends.
10: Put on a music record and play.

Fig. 1

Magnet Court Game - Game instructions:

This is very much like tag but without touching the floor. The magnets on the soles of your feet will make you repel from the magnetic floor. In order for you not to tip head first the structure with spider legs will keep you in place. You will hence, be floating. To advance you will use the poles you have in your hands. The attacker, called the Magnetor, will have the Taggerstick and will try to persecute and attract his victims, the Magnetized. Once the magnetor has irremediably caught someone by the vest with the metal disk of his Taggerstick, then the Magnetized becomes the Magnetor.
Places go to one end of the court for the Magnetised, the other end for the Magnetor.
The start whistle is blown.
There is a time limit for the persecution. If the Magnetor fails he loses. The Taggerstick is then sorted with dice among the rest.
Points are necessary but can be a piaccere.
He who reaches a certain amount of negative points loses and has to lick the winner’s balls.

Warning: Magnetor be sure not to point the Taggerstick to the floor, it will be difficult to take it away from it.
People playing or in the audience be sure not to have big chunks of metal prosthesis or huge chains like those of Mario Baracus.